I was listening the radio this morning and they asked a question that I’ve heard many women discuss. My best friend and I have even had this discussion and she is always stumped by my stance.
The morning dj asked is it okay to snoop on your significant other. Most of the women answered that it was okay. A few said they should have all the passwords and be allowed to snoop whenever they feel they have a reason to. A very small percentage felt they should have all the passwords but never use them.
There was one lone female who asked, “why do you need the passwords or to snoop at all? If you have to do that there’s no trust and why would you be in a relationship without trust?” My first thought was hallelujah, a voice reason in all of this trustless madness (did I mention that I occasionally make up words). I could empathize completely because that’s how I feel about it.
I have plenty of Jaime’s passwords and he has plenty of mine. It’s not because either of us have ever asked it’s because we occasionally open accounts or check them for each other. There are limitations, even though we often use each others phones or computers, we don’t snoop. I have no idea what’s in his email, texts, call history, or IMs and he would tell you the same. I’m a firm believer that you can’t have a good relationship without trust.
My best friend says that because of her exes she can’t trust men. I say because of my ex I can’t trust my ex. I have complete trust in Jaime. The way I see it all the snooping in the world won’t help me trust him any more or less. As I always heard growing up, “what’s done in the dark will soon come to light.” If there’s something going on it could only be hidden for so long so why stress about something I’ll know sooner later. It’s like always worrying about what may come and not dealing with what is. Besides I’ve got other things to do then make a job out of checking up on the man I love.
Trust is humongous in our relationship and I’m glad that we both feel the same way and don’t think it’s worth it making a career out of snooping on each other.
What’s your opinion on snooping? Do you sometimes do it? If you don’t, what do you think of others that do?
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I'm just a mother of three taking care of my family hilariously and blogging about it to embarass the **** out of them. I watch too much tv, play too many games (video and mobile), I love tech, fast cars, often read too many books, and I blog badly. Plus I've got some minor OCD issues I think.
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I don’t think I could let anyone have my passwords. I have never wanted the passwords of my partners. It never even occurred to me to ask for them! I know it is a bit different if you are married but I think that you have to trust each other. It’s more than trust too because I think you need to remain as two separate people rather than become one amorphous entity!
Besides if my partner had my passwords, how would I be able to surprise her with diamond rings?!?
Like I was saying, I have a couple of his (we aren’t married), but I don’t need to know his every movement or action every minute of the day. I understand the separation issue because I’m too independent to be anything else and your partner needs to be able to accept it, mine does.
Surprises are good
I have to agree with your friend “why would you need the passwords and/or snoop”, I would consider that to be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Trust, respect, and unconditional love to name a few are biggies in a relationship. I agree with Matthew too… just because your in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to loose your individuality all together. Great Post! Thanks for sharing!
I have a really low tolerance for women like that because their insecurities and behaviors spill into other parts of their life.
I agree with your POV. Trust is the basis of any relationship. I pity all those women/me who feel the need to snoop.