Last night I said that I would be posting later and I really wanted to but then Qiarra happened. She is officially 16 now. We had waited to go pick up her birthday gifts because there is nowhere in the house that we can lock them away.
For her birthday she has been asking for a collector’s edition of Risk. We decided to give in and take her to pick it up, by time she was done she had gone through her birthday budget. Once we got home it was time to play Risk. I knew what the game was but hadn’t played it growing up. Looking back, with my attention span that was probably a good thing. We played with her brother, 12 and sister, 9. The game felt like it took eternity to end. Believe me, the 9 year old was so excited when all of her territory was invaded by and lost to her big sister. About that time, Giavonni and I started whining about the fact that we just wished we would take our territories next. Vonni and I actually took turns begging and pleading for the pain and agony to end, yes it was that bad. The game finally ended after 6 hours at 3:00 am.
Then today, even after knowing better I still agreed to play because even at 16 she’s still my baby and I couldn’t hurt my baby’s feelings by saying no. We started about 6:00 pm today and Jaime and Vonni are still playing right now. Qiarra forfeited first at 10:00 and I finally just quit. I wouldn’t mind never playing again but of course I will because Qiqi will ask me to.
It always means so much to her when we spend time together and I get it because the bonds between a mother and daughter are special. As my oldest we share a special relationship. A day will come when she will know everything and I’ll be useless. So until that day I’ll cherish all the time we spend together even if it’s spent playing Risk.
*note even though this posted at 12:28 pm, I finished writing this post at 1:00 am
I don’t make Resolutions because I’ve never been a big believer in them. In my opinion Resolutions are something you say you’re going to do but don’t. This year Jaime told me that I had to make a Resolution list as a foundation for my plans and goals this year. Of course I procrastinated with letting others in on my list, even Jaime hasn’t seen it. So you will officially be the first and since I’ve sat down I’ve also decided to add procrastination as a resolution subject on this list. So let’s get started shall we?
- I will blog regularly. To me this means, I will post to this blog at least 3 times a week, to my other blog at least twice a week, and to my Weight Watchers blog I will post once weekly. I’m willing to try and put forth this effort even though that means I will be posting at least 6 times a week between all of them. Luckily my photo blog for my family will only be updated monthly unless there is a special event. I want to thank my blog buddies in advance for the help the give me by reading my blog regularly.
- I will stop procrastinating. No longer will my motto be, “why do today what I can put off until tomorrow.” That’s a pretty good one though don’t you think. Or maybe I should just prioritize what needs to be done and the order that I need to do it in.
- I plan on getting fit this year and that encompasses a different areas. I wrote a contract for Jaime outlining my basic weight control this year and my plan on making that happen. That contract was the only way I could convince him to pay for Weight Watchers. Mind you he has never complained about my weight. I was 135 when we met and my heaviest at 167. Absolutely never a complaint. He insists that I am beautiful and perfect just the way I am but in the end I know that what really matters most is what I see in the mirror. What I see is a heavy girl who will be at a happy healthy weight when I reach my goal of 139.
- I will become more active. This will include going to the gym and continuing my Group X classes. Parking a little farther away from the gym, my weight watchers meetings, and the market. I am going to exercise at least twice a week whether it’s my Dance Central game, my Zumba game, Wii fit or the classes I love at the gym.
- I will eat healthier this year. I eat more in moderation and only eat more portion sizes. So far this is going great and I’m very proud about how this is. I’m eating a lot more vegetables and fruit, a lot less sugar and fast food. I mean I still eat an occasional chocolate chip cookie or candy bar, I have to be able to have what I want or I can’t stay on plan. I also agreed in that contract that I would go to my weekly Weight Watchers meeting and I actually look forward to them. They keep me grounded on my weight journey and I need that.
- I will stop being lazy. I will also start walking up the stairs to announce that dinner is ready or that the dryer has stopped. No more calling, texting, or sending instant messages. This has been a little harder to keep up. I still tend to text Giavonni often but Qiarra lost her phone and Alexys hasn’t earned a phone yet. This seems to be the hardest for me but I’m being honest about it. Last night Qiarra asked me if she could ride with me to drop her grandmother off at work this morning and I told her no because she lost her phone and I couldn’t text her. I was nice enough to walk upstairs, go to the far end of the house, soothe her dog, and then wake her up so she could go. As a birthday gift she has asked for a new phone or that the family gets together and looks for her phone. I’m going to try looking for it tomorrow when they’re at school.
- I am going to visit my dad more often. This might sound like common sense but I have 3 kids and it’s not cheap traveling with that many people. So my dad is just getting to know his grandkids now. We moved to Texas from Arizona so that we could be within driving distance of him in case he needed me. His health is not good and I wanted to be able to reach him on the same day in case of emergencies. He came down for Christmas and had a fantastic time with his grandkids so I decided to make it a point to drive out to his house at least once a month but hopefully more. We are going to drive out the last weekend of this month for my daughter, Qiarra’s 16th birthday. He also bred his dogs and now is waiting to give my Alexys a brand new full blood Shi Tzu puppy.
- I am working very hard at getting services for my 24 year old brother who has MR. I would really like to get him in an adult day program. Right now he is in the house all day and I am unable to work. My brother’s doctor thinks I should apply for a care program that will help compensate me. I can live without the compensation because I’ve been doing this for years but his doctor made a valid point. With me being unable to work the compensation will help me pay my bills. I hate not paying any bills, it sounds great but I always feel like I’m being carried and that makes me feel really bad. I’m not the kind who likes to rely on others, not even Jaime.
- Once I have some type of income coming in whether it’s from employment or for my brother, it’s time to get some previous debts taken care of. For awhile there, I had to be mom and dad to my kids and I think they made it through well considering it was just grandma and I. I loved them and gave them what they needed. I drew the line on what they wanted because I had to prioritize and make some sacrifices. That didn’t keep the girls from getting sick or having to be hospitalized so I have some delinquent medical bills that I’m taking care of as I can. I’m starting to get a grip on these bills so I’ll just keep pushing through as I can.
- Finally, I have given myself this year to decide exactly what degree I want to go for. I’m having a hard time deciding because I always wanted to teach preschool and that’s what I was going to school for but I finally realized the reason I felt so aimless with my classes was because I had already taught preschool. So my move last year and trying to get settled has given me time to figure out what I really want to do and I’m going to take this year to figure it out. I also have to help my daughter figure out what she wants to do because she’ll be a junior next year and there’s a lot to do before she graduates high school.
I almost forgot that I also have to make it a point to keep reminding Alexys that when I say something, if I didn’t say “I promise,” then I didn’t promise. I make it a point to rarely ever say “I promise,” because I expect her to hold me to it. That’s what you expect of your children because that’s what they do. Lexy though, will try to hold me to promises I never made and she does this often Jaime also bears the brunt of this a lot too so I now specifically tell her “I didn’t promise it Lexy, I’m saying that I will do it if I can.”
So there is my list, what do you think of it? Maybe I’ve made too many lofty goals and should get rid of some of them or maybe this is just right since I have a whole year to accomplish it and maybe if I break a resolution that’s okay because I have the whole year to get it right. I think I’ll take that as my philosophy, “maybe I didn’t get it the first time, but I succeeded before the year was out.” I think that still technically counts.