What a week!

I’ve had a full range of emotions and attitudes this week so I’ll try to do a quick summary of the happenings.

The good this week is easy. I stepped on the scale Wednesday with great fear. I’ve been eating better but I don’t always eat the way I’m supposed to. I have been weighing myself faithfully every Wednesday and some times I’ll get on the scale on other weekdays. This week my new best friend, the bathroom scale, informed me that I am now 17o pounds. That’s 12 pounds lost in three weeks, I had gotten up to 182 pounds after getting put on high blood pressure meds. This has been a really bad place for me because in high school I see sawed between 115 and 125. Even after my third child I was only 130. This has caused me to have a lot of self consciousness. I am finally getting past that but I know that for my frame I am overweight so I am finally doing something about it and sticking to it this time.

Today I went to spend time with the girls and I didn’t realize how badly I needed to do just that until I was with the girls. We were supposed to see Magic Mike but the theater changed the showing time so I was only able to have lunch with them before I had to come back home and take Qiarra to her tutoring job. The rest of the girls went to see the movie. I was disappointed because I can’t take my boyfriend, teenage daughter, or my teenage son to see it because it just wouldn’t be right. So I guess I have to wait until it comes on DVD. I spent a few hours moping around the house so the rest of the family could be as miserable as me.

Finally, Friday was my exes birthday and I try really hard to be the bigger parent in the situation but he doesn’t make it very easy. My youngest daughter spent all week reminding me that Friday was dad’s birthday. She chose to post a happy birthday message to his Facebook wall. Now I am perfectly okay with this. He lives in El Salvador so this is the easiest way for them to communicate. I am all for them communicating. Now I know what type of father my ex has been but I refuse to ever tell my daughter, she’s only 11 and she will eventually figure it out herself. My son has already decided not to use the Ramirez part of his name and only goes by Brown. He has already asked me to make it legal. So today my ex did the thank you posts and even posted a picture of him and I guess his new girlfriend spending his birthday together. I’m happy for him because I moved on years ago and I’m very happy, my whole issue is that through all that he did not even bother to acknowledge his daughter’s post. The kids also had their birthdays early in the year, one each month behind the other. I went as far as to send him a private message reminding him of his son’s birthday so my son wouldn’t see it on his page. My ex didn’t bother to tell any of the kids happy birthday or even an occasional hi. Nor does he pay any child support and my boyfriend doesn’t mind but we should be married by this time next year and I’m faced with the decision of whether to terminate his parental rights or not. I think he might end up pushing me into a decision sooner rather than later.

Okay I think I’m done venting for now and I’m glad to have my blog back up because I’ve been wanting to post all week. Come to think of it I wanted to post last week too. I guess I had a lot to get off my chest.